Get Your Life Back by Allen J.

Sometimes I have to check myself and make myself realize that not everyone is trying to hurt me. I have this silent paranoia in me that comes from the people who have hurt me. I don't want to live the rest of my life in fear or defensive just because there were people in my past who tried to hurt and take advantage of me. Everyone isn't the enemy. There are people in your life who genially love you and that do have your best interest at heart. Remove the paranoia in you that tells you that not no one will be able to treat you like you treat them. Of course no one will treat you like you treat them because they are not you. They don't think and act as you do they think and act as they do! In the words of T.D. Jakes , "some people may be able to love you at only a 10 gallon level, when you are able to love them on a 1000 gallon level." Just because you are able to love them more than, or in a way different than they can love you,  it doesn't mean that that perso...

One of the most mind boggling things I notice about life is how many people try and tell you that you aren't who you say you are. That is when you have to show them that not only are you who you say that you are,  but also that you are everything and more. Never let other people's opinion of you make you second guess who you are as a person. You know the truth. You are the one who lives your own life every day. You know what it is YOU do and what you are all about. Stop letting other people and their negativity and ignorance create insecurities in you. Be secure in yourself. You are not perfect! No one can tell you what your truth is. We may not be perfect to one another but we are perfect in the eyes of God. God has the ultimate say so of who we are and what we are about. Stop letting Old Joe Blow tel you that you are something that you know you are not. -Allen J.

Life is full of challenges. We tend to fill our lives with so many obligations and responsibilities that sometimes they may seem unmanageable. We are also spending a lot of time thinking about how on earth will we rectify the bad choices that we have already made. We become overwhelmed and stressed out. No matter how stressful our lives are, we do not need to take our problems out on the people around us. No one deserves the wrath that comes from having unmanageable lives. Our lives become unmanageable as a result of us not keeping in mind what responsibilities we already have to manage. Our problems are our own. No one else should be held responsible for the predicaments we get ourselves into. Take a look at what duties you have in your day. Be realistic as to whether or not you can handle everything that you have put into your schedule. And please do not take your frustrations out on the ones who love you and support you. You may end up losing someone's support as a result of you...

I am who I am. You are who you are. We are not the same. No one is made exactly the same. We are individuals. We all have our own specific different talents. God made us all differently so that we all can have something different to offer to one another. There are over 7 billion people on this planet. None of us have the same finger print because we all have different identities. We were not meant to be the same. What I do is what I do, and what you do is what you do. We do not have to do the same things because we have separate lives that serve different purposes.  But we do have to coexist. So why are we judging and criticizing one another for the differences that should be bringing us together? What I have you may not have, and what you have I may not have. The beauty in life is that I can help you get what I have if you want it and you ask. I can be a teacher to you and vice versa. We both can have everything if we help one another to get what we want in life.  We should n...

Sometimes in life I wonder why do I keep going through some of the same things over again. I get so frustrated because it seems like my life is so monotonous. The same people and situations over and over again. Nothing changes but the time and date of the situations. Certain problems are never resolved and I get tired of having to repeat the process over again. There is a reason for this. Life is just a bunch of cycles. Your life at the moment is one big cycle that moves forward into another cycle, and then another. The more you learn and grow, the more responsibilities you take on. If you lose something, you are still in the cycle. You can get it back if you want it back, or you can leave it out if it wasn't beneficial to you and your life. But losing one thing can result in losing more things, and the cycle that helps you to move forward will stop moving forward. When you stop moving forward you stop growing as a person. You also stop moving towards your ultimate goals and your t...

Withstand hardships and move forward until you are in a better position. Then you will reap the benefits of all your hard work and dedication. And no one can take what you have away from you because you would have earned your position and place. Withstanding hardships/being patient through life is very hard. Just remember that what you have you are supposed to have and what you don't you aren't suppose to have. Where you are is where you are supposed to be at the moment and where you are not is where you are not supposed to be, until you are supposed to be there. -Allen J.

My name is Allen James Sardie. I am not James Allen Sardie. I am who I am. I am not you and you are not me. We are two completely different people with two separate lives. What I do and how I think is what I do and how I think. What you do and what you think is what you do and what you think. I do not have to do the things that you do, nor do you have to do the things that I do, and that is fine. We are two completely different people so I wouldn't expect you to do the things that I do. See, this is why I hardly ever judge anyone for what they do in their life. It's because their life is their life. We do not have the same life even though we have to live life together. There is approximately 7.4 billion people on this planet that I have to live with, so why should I be concerned with what it is that you do? You do what you do and I do what I do, and we are not the same. We have to coexist on this planet, so why are we hurting and killing one another because of our differences....

Who do you have in your inner circle? Do you consider the people who you share your time with a positive or a negative influence in your life? Do these people have your best interest? Do they even know what your interests are? Just because you have fun with someone doesn't make that person good for your growth in life. You may also have family members who do not have your best interests at heart. See, in order for someone to not be a toxic friend or family member, that person has to know you well enough to be able to know what your interests are. Positive influencers in your life know how to help you grow into a better YOU! They have seen as well as have been in situations with you and know first hand exactly what it is that hurts you and discourages you. They won't try to hurt you or discourage you. They know how to encourage the things that you are good at. They notice your talents and try to help you sharpen and perfect them. They see the potential ...

Your thought process is composed of both positive and negative influencers. The things that you think about will either influence your actions in a very positive way or they can influence you to make very bad choices. You have to be able to separate your positive thoughts from the ones that will influence you to make really poor choices and decisions. Your thoughts can encourage you in the most constructive way, which will lead you to achieve all of your goals, or they can lead you destructively to your death. Be aware of what you think. Know what is factual and what are assumptions. Ask questions rather than assume.  Block negative thinking. Just because you think about something doesn't mean you have to act on that thought. You can analyze what it is you are thinking in a way where you decipher what is factual and what is fictional. Stick with the reality of things. Don't get caught up in things that are fantasy and become delusional.  -Allen J.

The absolute hardest thing to do in life is being able to withstand a hardship or a difficult moment. When hardships arise, sometimes we panic and get discouraged. We start to think that we will not be able to face whatever it is we have to face in order to overcome that difficult moment. This is when we may need to take a look back at what we have already overcome  in our lives. Look at some of your most difficult moments and how you overcame those moments. This is the proof that you can overcome something very difficult again. It's because you have already done the things that you thought were impossibe to do before. God has well equipped you with all the tools necessary to face so many obsicals in your life. All you have to do search within to find the strength, and believe that you will make it through. Start taking the necessary steps to face the problem. Every problem has a solution, even though at the time the solution may not present itself. Every obstacle can be overcome. ...

Sometimes your thoughts may be anything but factual. Your thoughts may be assumptions and opinions derived from current events, past events and expected outcomes. Dillusional thinking can lead to you to your death bed! Do not believe some of the things that circulate in your head. Just because you think it , doesn't make it true. If you don't know about something then ask about it. There is fact and there is fiction. Although everything happens for a reason, the truth of the matter in everything has to me deciphered....so don't believe the first thing that pops into your brain. Play the tape all the way through, and maybe at the end of the debate within your own self you will find the answers to the questions you are asking in life. Also, remember that you can not control other people or situations. If you want to know anything about someone else, then ask that person. Don't assume. If you want to know about a certain subject or situation, then seek a professional. Do n...

No one really knows just how many years they will be able to live life before they move on to what's next. Doctors may tell you that the average human life expectancy for humans today is somewhere between 75 and 80. Some people live to the age of 100, while some only make it to 60. Do you know how to control your life expectancy? I am about to tell you. Your body has a natural chemistry and biological make up. There are foods from the earth that contribute positively toward the human growth process. There are also foods that take away from it. You may not understand what it is I am explaining to you, so let me explain. Your body naturally processes certain foods for its benefit as well as to give you the energy needed to perform your daily activities and regimens. Your body is also built to break down certain things a certain way. Overly processed foods are foods that are processed for mass production. Chemicals are infused with the original product in order to expand as well as pr...

Regret and shame are two feelings destroy a lot of people. They are feelings that greatly affect your actions. When a person is full of regret and shame, that person is extremely vulnerable. Problems seem to be magnified...because they are. Nothing seems to be going right. It is hard to find gratitude for anything in life. Life becomes an extremely difficult task rather than an amazing adventure. Humility is lost and is replaced with self centered behaviors. All you start to think about is what you need and want. What you must have. What people need to do for you and how life isn't fair. You are consumed with the "should haves, could haves and would haves". The truth of the matter is that you are exactly where you need to be and you have everything you need to have to get you where you need to go. Everything happens for a reason. God does not make mistakes. Everyone is either going through or coming out of some situation. Do not believe that you are the only one going thr...

Are you a heavy thinker? Do you think things through to the very end or "find truth of the matter" of things? Do you kinda just go with the flow as your day goes and don't think much of anything? What's on your mind? You may want to take a look at the things that you think about. Usually your thoughts manifest into actions. Are your thoughts positive? Are they negative? Positive thoughts produce positive actions and outcomes and negative thoughts produce negative actions and outcomes. Be careful what you think about because you may not like the things that you get in return. Assumptions are horrible. Assumptions are anything but the truth. I always tell people, "if you don't know something then ask about it". Do not assume anything, and especially do not assume the worst. There is always God in every equation. Your thinking may be kinda on the dillusional side, and you may be choosing to believe what you are thinking. I am not saying that there is no val...

How much effort are you putting into the forward movement of your life? Do you feel like you can do better? You already know the answer to both of those questions. Do you feel a little guilty? Do you feel a tad bit shameful of something that you have done in the past? Don't! Today is a brand new day. God wants you to come as close as you can to your highest potential. If you failed to communicate properly with your partner yesterday, you have today to try to do a better job at communicating. If you dropped the kids off later than you would have always like in the past few days, then you have other days to make sure that your children make it to school on time. You can do anything over again that you want. You can get your degree. You can go to culinary school if that is what you really want to do that you have never done. You may not have the time to do them now, but God will make a way. God knows your heart. He knows what you want in your life. He will make sure you have everythin...

Everything you do in your life is done for a reason. There is a reason for everything that you do. You have a purpose. God has so many things going on, that you may start to think that you are doing things that are pointless and in vain. These things are not pointless. The things that you do each day  prepare you for your future. You may not believe it, but they do. As long as you are not moving backwards and trying to destroy the life that God gave to you, then you are doing everything that is needed to move you forward toward your purpose in life. So take it easy on yourself. Do not rush your life. You will get there one day. It may seem impossible, but everything is possible with hard work and God. God wants you to have everything you want to have in your life. You have to want life in order to see all things come to light. You can't be in a self destructing and negative mindset and expect for all your dreams to come true. If you are doing the right things for the right reasons,...

As you remember from what  I said to you in previous blog posts, control is everything in life. You have to be able to control everything in your life in order to move forward toward your destiny? Do you know what you are doing? Do you know why you are doing the things that you do? Do you even know why you say the things you say? What have you programmed in yourself that makes you behave the way you behave? Have you been programmed by your family and never actually had the opportunity to program yourself? When I say the word "programmed", I actually mean "what have you taken into yourself?" Everything you take into yourself is going to definitely affect what you put out. It shapes your behavior and makes you who you are. Some of the things that we take into ourselves are not particularly the best. That is why we have to take them out! We have to take out the things that work against our progress. We want to progress toward our goals and dreams and not make our lives...

Everyone has a destiny. Either you are destined to move toward's God's grace or you are destined to fall from God's grace. Which do you choose, because you have the choice? God wants you to have everything that you want to have but you have to control the things that you have, and control the direction you want your life to go. So think about what you have. Are you controlling everything that you have well? Next, think about the things that you want and the direction that you want your life to go. You have to be able to control the direction that you want your life to go into. Do you want to move forward in your life? Do you want to take a step backwards? Do you know why you are doing the things that you are doing? You better know because it determines your future. Live your lives and live them well because your destiny depend on your ability to control. - Allen J.

What are your goals and dreams? Have you even thought about them? Have you defined yourself or allowed God to help you define YOU? Do you know what you like? Dislike? You are in total control of your destiny! You have to choose weather or not you want to move forward in your life or move backwards. Do you want to move forward toward your goals and dreams or backward and away from them. Think about the way you want to look. In other words, define your look. Define what types of foods you like to eat and don't eat. You know the person you want to be. You have to do whatever it takes to become that person in the most right way possible. That is right. You have to go after your goals in the most right and honest way possible or you will be working against them. When you do not do the right things for the right reasons you work against your goals. You don't want to move toward your destruction.... or do you? You have to go after the life you want. It will not just come to you withou...

Sometimes in life you realize that you have lost control. Your emotions are on a low and you are depressed or full of anxiety. Your life feels very chaotic and nothing seems go go right. You feel backed into a corner in your life and have no idea how you are going to get yourself out. You are stuck! You have no idea how to move forward and you feel helpless. You pray to God and ask him to guide you when suddenly you get an open door. God answers your prayer and you find that you have an opportunity to get out of your "stuck" position. You start to move forward again and you start to feel better. "Going through" and "coming out of" will happen all of your life. You will learn a lesson each time you go through and come out of every situation. The main goal in life is to learn that each situation is different. Some situations are easy and some are very difficult. Remaining hopeful that you will "get through" is actually the goal you want to achieve....

How do you define the word "friendship"? I have had to redefine that word many times in my life. What is a friend to you? What makes you all frieds? What does a person do that shows you that you are truly friends? For years I got it very wrong and thought that my friends were the ones who I looked cute with when we went out together. Or that I drank alcohol with until the wee hours of the morning knowing that I had important things to do. True friends are not toxic to you. Toxic friends are the ones who will allow you to do things that they know are not good for neither you nor them. Toxic friends will let you get drunk or high. Toxic friends will push you to cheat on your spouse. A toxic friend will never tell you when you are doing something wrong. But a true friend will. There are things that you know you shouldn't be doing. Habits you know you need to break. But how can you stop doing the things that are hurting you if the ones misguiding and truly hurting you are th...

God is so amazing. It's amazing how God wants us to have everything we want and dream of. He will make sure we get everything our hearts desire as lomg as we keep Him first. You have to know im your heart that God is the only one who can pull everything in your life in order. Never give up on your dreams because God is not going to give up on granting your wiahes unless you give up on Him. Never give up on God and He will never give up on you. What you think may take years to acgeive can be done in one day with God because Heallen is who He is. No one is bigger than He who made you. He wants you to have everything. He wants you to succeed. He wants you to be full of His grace beyone imagine. You are a cgild of God and He is your father. Never forget that. -Allen J.

So many people doubt God. There are many begging and asking for proof but the proof is in your past. Think about all the things that you thought were impossible to get through that you did. Think about all the things in life that you wanted and never thought you'd get. Think about the things that y poo u thought would take years to get done that were done all of a sudden in one day. That is all the proof you need that you don't control everything and that there is something far greater working for you....and that "something" is God. -ALLEN J.

There are people who have been in your life who have already proven to you that they love you. Those are the people that you should be focusing on and building stronger relationships with rather than running behind the people who don't want to be a part of your life. It takes a lot of time and effort to build a relationship. It takes a lot of energy. It takes a lot of courage. Building new relationships are hard because you don't have evidence that the relationship will even last or whether or not you are wasting your time or not...or will you be hurt as a result.  There are people who are already in your corner who have already proven worthy of your time and effort. So those are the people worth a little more investing.  Do not invest a lot of time and effort into a relationship if you are the only one in the relationship trying to make it work. You will get hurt and feel cheated. There is nothing more beautiful than getting closer with the people who have always had your bac...

Set goals and figure out the type of person you want to be and the type of life you want to have. Every day of your life you should be doing something to reach those goals or trying to do the things to  be the person that you want to be. Don't lose sight of the goals at hand. Those are the things that will keep you waking up I'm the morning wanting to conquer the world. Those are the things that will keep you empowered enough to want to live another day. Of course you will have obstacles and bumps in the road because it is life and we all are living it. But keep you or eyes on the prize. Keep courage in your heart and God on your side and you will rightfully get everything that you have ever dreamed of. God wants you to win. He wants to see you succeed but you can't lose sight of the goal at hand and the work that you are doing to acheive those goals. -ALLEN J.

Life can be very difficult. There are so many ups and Downs that we can easily lose track of the lives that we created that was filled with so much joy. There can be so many obstacles that that which seemed joyous seems unreachable. You may lose your job. You may lose a family member in life and everything that seems normal may begin to feel out of reach. You begin to feel like you are losing yourself. It's OK because you can get yourself back. You can get back everything that filled you with joy from the beginning. It sometimes takes us to go through something difficult just to realize just how good we had it and how beautiful the lives that we live are. You can do it all over again if you messed it up the first time. You can get back on track if you got off. God loves us so much that He wants to see us in our happiest frames of mind. He wants us to have joy and leave in our hearts. If you lost something and can't get it back then it wasn't meant for you to have. So today ...

God gave you life. He loves you so much that He gave you the ability to have everything that you can think of. Everything in the universe is available for you to have under one condition. You have to be able to control what you take advantage of or what you create. What you take advantage of or create becomes a part of your life but you have to manage it well or it (or someone) can take full control of your life. You can have a relationship but if you give your relationship all of your control then your relationship will determine your life. Everything must be in balance in order to get the most out of life. You cant give all your control to your job or your relationship or family life will suffer. Think about how you have your control spread out to the things in your life. Make sure each area gets fed or you will lose a part that is neglected. That neglected part of your life may determine your happiness or your health. So manage your life resposibly. Don't give too much to one ar...